Hi, guys. I really appreciate how you respected my silence and for letting me be for as long as I am ready and comfortable enough to bond again. This past few weeks felt like being stuck in a burning room. The haze made breathing impossible. It blurred my vision and I felt like I lost consciousness a couple of times but I’m still here; very much alive.
Classes were tough! In mid-sentence I’d cut short confused by how and where in the world did a simple thought of him got so much strength to choke me leaving me powerless with eyes brimming with tears. I’d pause my camera and allow myself to breakdown as quickly as possible—like sipping water from my tumbler. And with annoyance I’d flip off, come back strong and tempestuous for not being able to suck it up. I hated how much I allowed this heartbreak get in to me.
For those who were there and kept me through this adversity, for those who knew the story of how I fell in love with and how much I fought hard to keep the love alive and how it eventually broke me, thank you for respecting my space and my metaphorical silence.
I am honestly overwhelmed by that huge support I never thought I deserve from anyone of you after all my stubbornness. Thank you for not scolding me even in the midst of sniveling while clasping my chest, I know how many times most of you just wanted SO BADLY to detach my heart so it would stop beating for him; like euthanasia so I’d stop hurting.
But please let me ask you one last favor before all these goes to drain, don’t talk ill about him. Trust me he had his share of a far worse gut-wrenching heartbreak. I may be immeasurably hurt but I know now why it didn’t work out. It’s not his fault he met someone who would love him more than I ever could; someone he’d fall in love with more than he could ever love me. He deserve every bit of happiness this world has to offer.
He deserve nothing less.